AHH MOTHERLAND!!!

As to why I haven’t posted lately?  Oh yeah, my life has been swallowed by school.   That’s pretty much it…. I’m doing WAAAAAAAY to much to have a life.  And I’m in debt.  Great….  I love being a college student.  Oh well, after this Saturday, marching band is pretty much over, meaning that I won’t have to worry about a class that meets oh…. probably 7+ HOURS A DAMN WEEK FOR ONLY 1 CREDIT!!!  So, yes, Mouse, I appologize for not posting, and I’ll try to do it more often.  I miss you!

Why me?

So today, I had to do a march-a-thon for band.  It was essentially a five mile walk.  It was kinda fun, but then I crashed when I got back to my dorm. Right now, I really should be cleaning my dorm room (and I probably will a little bit after I post this, but I’m considering taking another nap as well).  I have a car on campus, now, which is exciting, but it’s not my car, it’s my brother’s truck. Oh well, at least it drives.

On to other exciting news….there really isn’t any.  I met a really nice, cute, funny guy here…and of course, he’s gay.  WHY IS LIFE NOT FAIR?!  So yeah…it kinda sucks, but oh well….at least he’s a great friend.

I think that’s it for now, I’m off to probably take a nap before the band party tonight

I know it’s been awhile

So, It’s been quite a long while since I’ve posted last, and I have good excuses, I swear!  Work, and practicing, and general laziness being the top three.  I don’t really have a whole lot new in the knitting world to post about, but I do start band camp on Sunday, and that makes me nervous.  I’ll be dead to the world for about a week since I have two-a-days and music practice in between (that’s 12 hours a day, folks).  Oh joy.  Well, I’m off to pack some more

Alright, I’m posting

This is for Mouse, since I’m pretty sure you’re the only person that actually reads this….

I found out today how completely fucked I am. I have an audition for marching band one week from tomorrow. They’ll probably hear me, and then laugh me out of the school of music.

On to other things…. I am throughly depressed. No, I don’t mean I’m sad. I’m bottom of the barrel for no reason depressed. I wake up every morning and have to force myself out of bed. I had to take Klonopin (an anti-anxiety medication) today at work. And the best part? I can’t get in to see my psych. for two whole weeks. I don’t know what I’m going to do until then. I guess I’ll just scrape along, playing the part of the cheerful girl at work, and retreating to my books at night.

Enough for today. I’m off to play my clarinet for a bit and try to scrape something together before next saturday.

Graduation

When did I get so old?  And I don’t mean physically.  These last two years since high school has really added years to me mentally, and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.  Looking back, I never realized how much happier I was in high school.

My little brother graduated today.  And I know this sounds sappy, but I have never been as proud of him as I was today when I watched him walk up on stage and get his diploma.  In fact, I think there may have been *cough* tears in my eyes.

Today I wished that I could just stop and rewind.  In high school, I actually had real friends, not just the people that lay waiting at the turn of a page.  I had a future to look forward too, as well as hope.  I think that’s what I miss the most.  The hope.  Maybe I’m just depressed right now, but I’m looking forward and seeing nothing.  I see a tomorrow, and maybe a day after that, but I can’t see past just getting through to the next step.  I used to have plans.  I used to want to be somebody.  Where did that Liz go?   I used to want to be famous, and do great deeds, like that characters in my books.  Now I just want to survive.  I just want to get through life, and to be honest, sometimes, that just seems like too much.

Anyway, those are my thoughts of the day.  And I know exactly who will read this, so don’t worry Mouse.  (Though  I know you probably will anyway)  I’ll be fine in a few days, I think.

More Pics today

I finally have gotten around to taking, uploading and posting pics of my knitting for the enjoyment of everyone.

This is a close up of the shawl I’m working on, and since none of the other pics I uploaded actually worked…I guess this is it for now.

I need to get out of this @#$%^&* house

I’m so fucking sick of my mother.  I mean, I love her, but she drives me crazy.  I just need to be living not under the same roof as he.

Sicksicksicksicksick

Well, I’m sick. There’s no two ways about it. Last night, I ended up in the hospital, and I’ve missed two days of work. Why do I feel horrible for missing work? I mean, it’s only work. I wouldn’t feel bad for missing school… Maybe because they rely on me. I don’t know. I still feel like crap for missing two days. But I’m going in tomorrow, sick or no. I can’t miss any more. My boss called me today, and I felt guilty. Guilty! No idea why…I just did. I feel like I’m being too much trouble to be worth it. sigh….

I hate my conscious

So, I finally got the chance to sit down and read the beginnings of Buffy: season 8.  And I must say, I’M SO FREAKIN’ EXCITED!!!!!!!  I want the rest of the series NOW!  That was the nice thing about getting into Buffy after the show ended…I was able to sit down and watch the whole season in one sitting if I felt like it.  Now I actually have to wait.  And not just a week between ‘episodes’.  It’s a month.  And it’s gonna kill me.  This has renewed my passion with Joss Whedon and all things Buffy.

And yes, I am aware that I am a complete dork.  Oh well, it happens

As promised, I procured the family camera from my brother. Yay! Now for some knitting pictures

My first sock! Yes, I am aware the picture is sideways, and do I care? Not really….

The beginnings of my second sock. Yep, it’s the mate to the first sock.

And this is part of the giant blanket that I made. Since I have very little room in my room right now and don’t feel like moving downstairs to take a picture of it at the moment, this is all you get to see of it for now. Maybe later I’ll post a picture of the entire thing, just so you can get an idea of the enormity of it.

The purple people eater (my giant sized sweater that I knit) shall come later. At the moment, it’s buried under piles of clothing.