Graduation

When did I get so old?  And I don’t mean physically.  These last two years since high school has really added years to me mentally, and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.  Looking back, I never realized how much happier I was in high school.

My little brother graduated today.  And I know this sounds sappy, but I have never been as proud of him as I was today when I watched him walk up on stage and get his diploma.  In fact, I think there may have been *cough* tears in my eyes.

Today I wished that I could just stop and rewind.  In high school, I actually had real friends, not just the people that lay waiting at the turn of a page.  I had a future to look forward too, as well as hope.  I think that’s what I miss the most.  The hope.  Maybe I’m just depressed right now, but I’m looking forward and seeing nothing.  I see a tomorrow, and maybe a day after that, but I can’t see past just getting through to the next step.  I used to have plans.  I used to want to be somebody.  Where did that Liz go?   I used to want to be famous, and do great deeds, like that characters in my books.  Now I just want to survive.  I just want to get through life, and to be honest, sometimes, that just seems like too much.

Anyway, those are my thoughts of the day.  And I know exactly who will read this, so don’t worry Mouse.  (Though  I know you probably will anyway)  I’ll be fine in a few days, I think.